Are you in your mid-twenties to early-thirties? Have you become restless? Do you find yourself consumed with doubt? Doubt about your career path, the state of your relationships, or even the very point of your existence? You could be dealing with a quarter-life crisis, and you are not alone.
What is a quarter-life crisis?
The quarter-life crisis is a widespread psychological phenomenon that typically kicks in between the ages of 25 to 35. However, you can experience it a little earlier or later than that. It is typified by a prolonged period of stress, doubt, and soul searching.
Usually, the people who suffer from quarter-life crises are smart, driven, and capable people who are unhappy because they don’t feel like they are reaching their full potential, or doing as well as their peers.
You could be having a quarter-life crisis because your dream job has turned into a nightmare that zaps your creativity and drains you of your energy, or maybe you’re struggling because you’ve never quite found the right career for you – despite being more than qualified for the job. Perhaps you’re struggling to juggle life as a parent with your career goals.
Or comparison has stolen your joy, and you just can’t understand why your friends all have high-powered careers while you’re still struggling to stick with an entry-level job you hate – sending out resume after resume and not getting anywhere.
No matter what the reason for your quarter-life crisis might be, you need to start digging yourself out of it right now, and that is something we can help you with – just follow the steps outlined below. Things will hopefully start to get better for you.
Build a strong Relationship with Yourself (we call this Personal Connection)
The first step in overcoming a quarter-life crisis is building a strong relationship with yourself. What does this mean? It means that you live your life for you. You put your life in your hands and you learn what is important to you.
In our 8 week Personal Connection Boot Camp we teach you how to build a strong personal connection with yourself by setting goals, redefining habits, discovering who you are and embracing our “Iceberg of Personal Connection” framework. This sets the foundation for you mastering the uncertainty in your life. Signup for an interview with one of our founders and learn how to get a jumpstart on your journey today.
Try new things to discover yourself
If you aren’t happy, but you don’t exactly know why you aren’t happy, or what would make you wake up every morning with a spring in your step and a smile on your face, try new things. Take classes just for the hell of it, meet and network with new people in industries different to your own, walk a new route, and just soak in everything. Completely transform your life by doing this. You might just hit on that one thing that will make you truly happy.
In week 3 of our 8 week program we empower you to research and try 5 new things. It is through doing things that you have always wanted to do and reading things that you have always wanted to read that you discover yourself.
Focus on Building Personal Connection with Others
Connecting with other people who know what you are going through is a great way to get through your quarter-life crisis. The simple act of talking to someone about your feelings can often be enough to help you move on. You can untangle your feelings, get a new perspective, and come to understand that you aren’t the only one who is struggling in your 20s and 30s.
Friends are great to talk to about this stuff. Still, you may also consider speaking to a career adviser, therapist, or mentor who has your best interests in mind and the skill and experience to help you out of your crisis.
Our Personal Connection Boot Camp focused on this in week 6 of 8 and also gives you access to a supportive and active community that is going through the same thing you are. In addition, you will be able to receive live group coaching twice a week with our founders, Hector “the Greek” and Jonny “the King of Burpees.” Signup for an interview with one of our founders to learn more.
Stop comparing yourself to others
It may be a cliche to say that comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s also pretty accurate. You’ll feel pretty depressed about your life by comparison, if you spend your time logged on to Facebook or Instagram scrolling through update after update from your prettier, more successful, happier friends who are all working their dream jobs, marrying their dream partners and well, just living their dream lives.
The thing is, you simply cannot compare the start of your journey to the middle of another person’s. You are an individual, and you have your own way of doing things. Your life is going at its own pace. If you fail to recognize that and continue to compare yourself to others, it will only lead to unhappiness, stress, and the questioning of every decision you’ve made or will ever make.
Stop. Doing. It. Now. Live your own life, spend the time you would have spent endlessly scrolling on bettering yourself, and start enjoying life more. If something is meant to happen, it will happen; if not, there’s always another way.
Set up a side hustle with something you are passionate about
It’s not for everyone, but if you’re struggling with the work side of life, maybe because you find your work unfulfilling or you just can’t break into your dream sector. It can be helpful to channel your frustrations into something more positive. Consider a side hustle.
Side hustles are jobs or businesses that you work on in addition to your primary full-time role. Not only can they provide you with an extra source of income, but they also allow you to take something you love and are passionate about and see how you do with it.
If you’re struggling to break into your chosen industry, they can be an effective way of making a place for yourself there. For example, if you dream of being a writer, but no one will hire you, set up a blog, and start doing it anyway. You’ll get the fulfillment you crave, and if your blog starts to attract attention, you can leverage that to get your foot in the door and your first step onto a career ladder. That’s just one example of how a side hustle can help you to be more fulfilled in your work – there are many more possibilities, so don’t be afraid to explore.
Take a different path and master your career
A lot of young graduates think that they must work in the field that they trained for during college. After all, school isn’t cheap, and it would be a waste of time to throw your degree away and do something completely different, right? Not necessarily.
It’s great if you can get work connected to the subject you study, providing that you enjoy it, but if you can’t, and don’t, there is no shame in going back to the drawing board and trying something completely different.
Most of us head off to college when we’re just 18. Many of us have no real idea of what we want to do with our lives, especially when it comes to career options – so we don’t always make the right choices. We shouldn’t have to suffer the rest of our lives because we chose to study engineering when we now long to be artists, for example.
So, be brave, think about what you would really like to do as a career, and go after it. You may need to retrain, but equally, you may not – just having a degree, any degree, can open a surprising number of doors. You still have your whole life ahead of you, so there’s plenty of time to experiment, find the right fit, and build a robust and happy career.
If worst comes to worst, you can always fall back on your degree. So what do you really have to lose – except stress, unhappiness, and emotional burnout?
Once we set thee foundation for your personal connection with yourself, we will help you define and attract your dream career in week 7 and 8 of Personal Connection Boot Camp. Share with us your career struggles today with an interview with one of our founders.
Remember you’re normal
86% of people go through a quarter-life crisis. A lot of people become distressed when they’re going through a quarter-life crisis. They feel like they’re the only ones who hate their job, can’t seem to get a break, and struggle to build lasting relationships, but that simply isn’t the case.
If you want to get through your quarter-life crisis intact, remember that you aren’t the only one going through this. It is more common than not to experience this transient stage of life in your 20s or 30s.
Having a quarter-life crisis, you also need to remember that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it can teach you more about yourself. It can also spur you to take action to make your life better, happier, and more fulfilling in the long term. Use this time to figure life out, now while you’re still young, and you’ll be far happier, healthier, and fulfilled as you get older and wiser.
How to Deal With Personal Finances
To deal with your personal finances, you must take control of the situation. Take account of how your money comes in and goes out. Money coming in is the easy part, your job, your business, and your investments. Money going out includes not only your expenses but how you are spending. Proper credit card use can be incredibly rewarding by building credit and allowing you to hold money in your debit account. Remember, regularly checking and updating this information is crucial to taking control of your personal finances. In week 7 and 8 of Personal Connection Boot Camp we discuss how to use your personal connection with yourself to master your finances. We then dig into Ramit Sethi’s framework and main goal to make personal finance exciting & rewarding, especially through his book “I will Teach You to Be Rich.”
What Now?
Quarter-life crises are nothing new, and they are nothing to be feared. They may leave you feeling unhappy and unsure, but that is only temporary. If you embrace the way you are feeling and use it as a springboard to discover who you are, if you use it to gain new skills and set new goals, it will work for you. You will end up more joyful than you have ever been before. Sure, it will take a lot of work and a little soul-searching, but it will be worth it in the end when you have a fulfilling home and work life, you’re following your passions, and you don’t feel inferior to your peers.
At VP Legacies, Jonny “The King of Burpees” and Hector “The Greek” lead a team focused on helping 20 and 30 something-year-olds go from FML (f*** my life) to HFY (Hell F***ing Yeah), so they can own their life after college without worrying about their career, finances or personal relationships. We do this by uncovering, setting, and accomplishing individual goals in as little as eight weeks. Our students can then overcome uncertainty, and build epic levels of self-confidence without spending years adrift trying to establish their unique voices. Sign up for an interview to learn more and start your journey today.